The Top 10 Ways to Have an Emotionally Intelligent Night Before Christmas

Use your EQ skills to have an enjoyable and manageable Christmas! With thanks to Clement Clark Moore.

1.
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

Keep Intentionality and Focus in mind. Christmas adds another full-time job to our already busy schedules. Your Intent, no doubt, is to have a good Christmas while keeping all the other balls in the air and not ending up exhausted or with debt you don't want. Focus on Christmas and everything else in its turn, and get those stockings hung by the chimney with care.

2.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of sugar plums danced in their heads. And Mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

You need reserves to keep your resilience and stamina up. Take good care of you , your loved ones and your workers -- lots of sleep, but also lots of snuggling. It's not emotionally intelligent to damage a relationship because of Christmas stress. Emotions will be on high, so soothing tones and "visions of sugar plums" -- optimistic thoughts -- will help. Your attitude makes it a happy Christmas.

3.
When out on the roof there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutter, and threw up the sash.

"Springing," reacting to new things is normal, but don't forget to slow down your "wondering eyes." It's emotionally intelligent to take a second look, or to count to ten. Don't just react -- take a close look at what's going on, give it some thought, collect yourself, and then respond.

4.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

Use your EQ to read the nonverbal signals of people so you can find out what their strengths are and "who" they are. Try the StrengthsFinder profile on my website. If Santa's "lively and quick," he doesn't belong in the Quality Control Dept. Let him, well, deliver gifts on Christmas!

5.
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name: "Now Dasher! Now Dancer!
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Donner and Blitzen!

There is magic in our names, and good leaders, parents and lovers know this. If you want to have impact on someone, use their name. And first of all, be emotionally intelligent enough to learn the names of everyone you interact with. If you can't remember someone's names, why would they want to work for you?

6.
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away

Make your wants and needs known. If you want your husband to help with the tree, tell him. Most people prefer to be told what to do, not how. If you want your daughter to finish her Christmas gifts by a certain time, tell her. If you want an electric appliance for Christmas, say you. You won't always get what you want, but you'll never get it if you don't ask and then make it clear.

7.
His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.

Emotionally intelligent people use descriptive metaphors and similes in their speech. They tell stories, use myths, and draw on pictures to get information across in ways that touch other people.

8.
He had a broad face and a little round belly, That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.

A sense of humor can be the saving grace during the holidays. Emotions are contagious, so you be the one to laugh like a jolly old elf, and watch others laugh in spite of themselves. Under pressure, humor works better than yelling.

9.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

We all wonder and worry about other people. Use a wink of an eye and a twist of a head -- and lots of other nonverbal expressions and gestures -- to let people know what you're like, how you feel, and who you are, so they can relax. It eases tension, saves a lot of exploratory time, and makes effective leaders -- whether CEOS or Moms or Dads.

10.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

Here it is again -- intentionality. Speak not a word, but go straight to your work! No randomness allowed. Be honest about your motivations. If you intend to have a happy Christmas, then have one. If you intend to have an unhappy one and be stressed, irritable, unpleasant, spend too much and pick fights with relatives, have one; but don't be sloppy and have a bad one when you intended to have a Merry one.

Then you and those around you can exclaim:

Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

©Susan Dunn, MA Clinical Psychology, cEQc, The EQ Coach™, http://www.susandunn.cc . Emotional Intelligence coaching, teaching, training, and assessments. Susan is the author of "How to You're your Life with Emotional Intelligence and other eBooks available at
http://www.webstrategies.cc/ebooklibrary,html . Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZine.

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